I asked the universe to teach me how to love, and it taught me the hard way. Due to its influence, my mind only thinks of him, my pen only writes for him, and my lips only speak of his name. Everything I feel with any tangibility, is for him. I have loved him with every ounce of love those before him did not show me, and have felt for him in the same way. Yet he does not know I feel this way about him. Everything I feel is felt for him from afar, because he has stolen my capability of speech. He looks at me and I forget who I am; as if my identity is lost. It is only on paper can he truly know of the words I can only write, but not say.
How did you do that? I mean, how could you fit so much beauty into a tiny laugh?
I cannot simply put into words how coffee, stars, and a good conversation turns me on.
The world we once knew has changed, just as the Word we once knew.
When you first touched me, it burned and I liked it. It felt like a bolt of electricity streaming through my veins. Waves of shock reviving through my lungs. Restoration of life given back from God’s right hand. I swore you were an angel. Little did I know the devil had his own plans. As if the devil himself reeked havoc upon us, cursing us with fire, scars bore proof birthing the epitome of our love. Brokenness. How sensational can a love be leaving behind damnations of weakness, torment, and acidic love? Nevertheless, I needed more of you. With each visit, I forced your hands to hold me, forced your lips to kiss me, forced your love to stay. But it burned, so bad. It burns. Third degree. Life-threatening. I needed air. How can a love so deep burn so eternally, I’d question. How can I heal? That’s why I must let you go. For the scars to heal, the pain to cease. I must let you go because our love feels like fire.
It’s currently 21:37 and as I sit under the night sky full of shining stars I realise how infinite the universe is and how connected we all are. Someone across the world has looked up to the same moon as I, and wished for the same things. I sit here and wonder how lucky we are, to be made of the same stuff as stars, the stars that shine bright through the darkness. I sit and think, what if you, who is reading this now was made of the same star as I. How, one day we will possibly return to the same format as stars. In this very moment, I realised that I could do anything, be anything.
So, I’m wishing on my lucky stars, that you, wherever and whoever you are, you live the life you want and dream of. You find strength, courage and genuine happiness in this beautiful universe. That you live knowing one day you’ll shine bright in the sky and you’ll be someone’s lucky star.
9 of the best advice my mom ever gave me:
•Forgive not because they deserve it but because you do.
•Be kinder to those around you than they are to you because you are not them and they probably need it the most.
•If you think you can’t do it then you’ve already failed, so know that you can.
•Nothing is ever black and nothing is ever white. You would be naive to think people are that easily understood and described as good and bad, the good will always have something bad about them and the bad will always have some good in them. Give both the benefit of the doubt.
•Sometimes it is necessary to go through a phase in a relationship where you love yourself a lot more than you love your partner. When you love yourself they will start to love you more because you show them your worth.
Same thing with friendships.
•Always leave a shred of softness towards people. Burning bridges is sometimes more tiring and emotionally exhasting than leaving it as it is especially since we’re all going through this life together. Don’t cut friends off completely because they couldn’t reach the standards of the friendship you had, you need to have friends who are friends from a far it makes life normal. If you despised every person who turned out to be not what you expected then you would have no more room for love in your heart.
•Some people go with the flow and keep up with who/what’s popular even if you don’t approve, people like to feel whole in different ways. Accept their ways and move on.
•Love yourself the most because no one is going to give you what you want from this life. People will come close but no one will give you all that you can give yourself. You are going to acheive your dreams and live your life by your own choices and decisions.
•You are overflowing with both logic and emotions, learn to use both in the right situations but never dismiss one entirely.